Third-Generation Coloradan Lives to Give
At age 62, Shari Wilkins looks back on the time she has spent in her life helping people. From advocating for seniors, to speaking out for marriage equality, to helping the terminally ill, Shari has always played the role of educator and caregiver. Her desire to help others has not diminished with time. In fact, as she gets further into her retirement, she has a hard time turning down opportunities to get involved.
Shari is a third-generation Coloradan who grew up in central Denver. Both of her parents had polio. Her father recovered, but when Shari was 17, her mother died. Shari and her siblings were raised to be caregivers, a practice that was due partly to the family’s devout Methodist background. But mostly, it was the product of a close-knit, loving family that placed a high value on community. The bond Shari shared with her mother was only strengthened when Shari told her mother she was a lesbian.
“When I realized I was interested in girls, I crawled up onto my mother’s bed and we talked about it. She was a lovely person. She encouraged me to have lots of friends around me in life, and said, ‘Never make one person feel responsible for you – whether it’s a woman or a man.’ Even though she was homebound, she was very involved in the community, our church and our school.” Shari’s mother was her role model, and inspired Shari to live life in earnest. This year Shari celebrates her 25th year with her partner Deborah.
While Shari has departed from her Methodist upbringing, spirituality plays a very big role in her life. She now follows the principles of Buddha, subscribing to the concept that, “We are all connected, every one of us.” That is at the heart of her desire to help others – and for Shari, the rewards circle back in the form of friendship.
Shari describes one of her volunteer roles working with a support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) caregivers through Jewish Family Services. A gay man whose partner has HIV was panicked and frustrated knowing that they had no money and few resources, and no close friends or family here they could count on. Shari and Deborah offered to be their emergency contacts, giving the couple peace of mind. “Being able to be spontaneous like that is great. We have two new wonderful friends now,” Shari says.
Being so outwardly supportive of the LGBT community’s needs has become stronger as Shari has become more vocal about her own sexual orientation. Having spent 33 years as an educator – teacher, librarian, school principal, and director of human resources – she never kept her sexual orientation a secret, and in fact received ample support from personnel in the Aurora Public Schools. Still, she says she spent most of her career being fairly quiet about being a lesbian. “Now all of a sudden I’m being sought out because of who I am.”
Now retired, Shari spends most of her time volunteering for organizations such as the Denver chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, the Alzheimer’s Association, Project Angel Heart, and Project Visibility Training for the Boulder Council on Aging. Shari’s mother would have been proud of the role model her daughter has become for so many Coloradans, and of her daughter’s generosity of time, energy and compassion that touches so many lives.